The Power Within
by DarlingRed
Summary: Sequel to The Weight of my Sins Just when things began settling down at the Bunker, a surprise appearance from a previously deceased Archangel complicates everything. Metatron is still running Heaven and Cas is the only one that can make things right, but at what cost?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: By popular demand, I present to you...THE SEQUEL to The Weight of my Sins. Hope you all love it! Also, just a heads up now, while Gabriel will be a big part of the fic it will not lead up to Sabriel. I'm sorry! No hate on it, just not my thing so I don't think I'd be able to write it very well.**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, if it were I would be writing episodes instead of fan fic!**

**Chapter One**

Dean stood there, slackjawed and completely dumbfounded as he stared at the previously presumed dead archangel before them. He finally regained the use of his motor functions and blinked fast, "Dude, we thought you were dead. I mean the whole, wings and shit..."  
Gabriel grinned and rolled his eyes dramatically.  
"They don't call me the Trickster for nothing big boy, you think I would march up to Luci without a plan b?" Gabriel shook his head, "Now you want to tell your welcoming committee to back off?"  
Sam looked at Dean confused, shrugging his shoulders.

"Guys, lets uh, give Gabe some space," Sam requested, pushing down the large crossbow in Charlie's hands.

Gabe smiled, popping an unwrapped chocolate candy and smacking his lips loudly as Kevin and the rest backed down, if not some what wearily.

"Gabriel?" murmured Cas, almost reverently echoing his brother's name as he dared stepped a few feet closer to the archangel.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows and grin spreading from ear to ear as he looked the fallen angel from head to toe.  
"Hey there little bro, looks like you're missing something there aren't you?" His eyes had paused, almost squinting while looking at Castiel's chest, his head tilting in a confused fashion.  
Cas nodded, looking downwards.

"Metatron used my grace to bar all angels from Heaven," he looked up, his eyes heavy and sad. "I am the cause for the destruction of Heaven."

Gabriel sighed heavily, snapped his fingers to manifest a beer in his left hand. "So the rumors are true then," he muttered before taking a long swig. Castiel simply nodded.

"You know, I for one would really love to know how you are here right now?" Snapped Dean, stepping closer to Cas.  
"Metatron threw us all out, myself included. And I had a nice little hide out upstairs, so you can imagine my disappointment," He growled; but his glare quickly switched to a smile. "But that's not why I am here, I am here to help ol' Cassie here stop Metatron and let all my asshole siblings back through the Golden Gates."

Sam stopped what he was doing and snapped to attention, "You mean you know how to reverse the spell?"

Gabriel shrugged, "More or less, but first we need to get Cas up to fighting strength."

Dean watched in confusion as Cas nodded and replied, "I have been training with Dean."  
Gabe smirked, casting Dean a rueful look, "I am sure you have," he winked, "But if you think sparring with your boy toy here is going to win back Heaven, you are sorely mistaken."

Cas looked at Dean then back to Gabriel, his head tilted slightly, "I do not understand what else I can do."

Before Dean could blink Gabriel was in front of Castiel, all humor gone from his features and his eyes were emitting a terrifying blue glow as he gripped Castiel's forearm.  
Dean stepped back in shock as Cas went stiff in his brother's grip and his eyes snapping to Gabe's.  
"Cas?!" He cried, reaching to break them apart before he felt Sam pull him back.  
"I don't think he would hurt him Dean," Sam insisted, pulling his older brother away from the two. Dean shrugged him off and immediately was about to charge forward when Gabriel let go, and Cas slumped to the floor.

"What the fuck Gabe?!" Dean cried, rushing to Castiel's side and cradling his head from the cold floor.  
Rolling his shoulders and popping his neck loudly Gabe smiled, "Just wait," he assured snapping a large, loud purple chair out of nowhere and laying back in it comfortably.

Dean patted Cas's cheek a few times, "Come on man, wake up feathers," he whispered, he swore he could almost feel the other man's muscles jumping underneath his skin, as if he had been struck with electricity.

"Dean, is he breathing?" Kevin asked from a few feet away, his gun still not leaving his hand, as if at any word from Dean he would blow the intruder away if need be.

Dean nodded and as he was about to ask for some cold water, Castiel's eyes flew open and he arched off the floor with a startled gasp.

"Cas?" Dean cried, his hands going to cradle his head and he was looking around frantically and his breathing rapid and harsh.

"Dean?" Castiel asked, finally focusing on the man in front of him.  
Dean gasped a bit when he looked a bit closer, under the trembling of Cas's skin and the flutter of his eyelids, there around his iris of his eyes was a tint of a glowing blue ring.

Spinning around, still supporting Castiel, he through a savage look at the fallen angel's older brother who was still smirking and lounging in the velvet monstrosity.

"What the hell did you do?" He demanded, his attention back on Cas as his fingers carded through the long, dark hair and his eyes scanning for any physical injuries.

"You should be thanking me," taunted the Trickster, "I am doing Cas a favor."

"What kind of favor ass hat?"

A lollipop rolling around in his mouth, Gabriel smiled between the stick.

"Just giving him a little saving grace," he smirked at his play on words.

"What does that mean?" Sam spoke up, his fists clenched and ready for at any moment to grab the angel blade from Crowley's hands.

"Easy there moose,' Chided the archangel. "Just a power up."

Dean felt Cas's fingers tighten on his forearm as he pushed himself upright to look at the reclined angel.

"What kind of power up?" He almost slurred his words, his balance uneven as he held onto Dean to keep him steady.

"I told you, gotta get you powered up," Gabe replied, "You should be thanking me Castiel, a mere seraph like yourself normally wouldn't even dream of getting what I am about to offer you."

"And what would that be Gabriel?"

"My grace numb skull, you borrow a bit of my grace so we can fight to win back Heaven,' he paused looking around the room. "Boys and girl-' he nodded in Charlie's general direction, "We're going to get Cas's grace back."

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

The room was spinning, even as Cas shut his eyes and opened them again it seemed as if the whole world was tilting on its side; the buzzing in his ears was becoming bothersome but it was annoying since he could see Dean's mouth move and Gabriel responding to whatever he was saying.

"Why do I feel this way?" He slurred slightly, closing his eyes tightly as the room spun again and the only thing holding him steady was Dean's tight grip on his waist.

"Because you idiot I am an archangel, and supremely more powerful than you. I can only give you little power ups so we can get you back in shape to fight the big bad," Gabriel explained through the ringing in his ears.

"Big bad?" Cas questioned, his mind unable to keep up with what Gabriel was saying.

Gabe sighed "Metatron you idiot keep up!"

"Hey asshole, he can barely open his eyes! Give him a minute," Dean yelled, pulling Cas closer as he felt himself drift a bit to the left.

Gabriel smirked, "Well I can definitely say that I didn't see that coming."

Cas heard Dean huff and he felt himself go weightless; he opened his eyes to see Dean carrying him bridal style. If he was able not actually stand or say something without sounding like a lush he might have fought the treatment, but honestly it felt nice being close to something solid.

"I'm taking him to the room, we'll discuss this later," Snapped Dean, and Cas felt himself being taken away from the main room.

He could feel it; the energy pulsing through him and around him. He could feel each and every one of Dean's muscles through his shirt, he could hear his heart beat and if he listened hard enough he could hear the gentle mantra of his inner thoughts.

Cas's throat tightened when he heard the words echoing in Dean's head and why his heart was beating so hard and fast.

_"Please don't leave me, please don't leave me."_

**AN: Intrigued? Like so far? Let me know, I love hearing from everyone!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Here is the next installment! I am making these longer since this fic may not be as long as The Weight of my Sins.**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine**

****Dean laid Cas down on their bed, carefully laying his head against the pillows. Cas still had his eyes screwed shut but his breathing had finally slowed down; his hands clenched next to him in tight fists.

"Hey easy there feathers,' Dean soothed, brushing his hair back from his sweat drenched forehead. "How are you feeling?"

Cas nodded a bit, "I think the room has stopped spinning now," and with that he opened his eyes a bit and turned to face Dean, who still sat on the edge of the bed next to him.

Dean nearly jumped back when Cas's eyes widened and a startled gasp escaped his mouth.

"What is it? Are you okay?" Dean asked, tentatively stepping forward with his hands raised a bit.

"Your face," whispered Cas, his eyes scanning Dean's features with an awestruck expression.

Dean smirked albeit wearily, "Yea it has that effect on people..."

"No, I mean I can see your face again," Cas explained, a smile breaking out over his features, "Your soul is so bright, Dean."

The smile on Dean's face faltered a bit, "You can see my soul?"

Cas nodded, "I was always able to as an angel,' he smiled fondly, sitting up and scooting towards the edge of the bed. "I've missed it."

Dean's breath caught in his chest as Cas brought a trembling hand to rest on Dean's cheek and drawing it down to trace the edge of his jaw. Dean closed his eyes, letting himself be lost in the tender touches; something that he had denied himself for the last few years.

"Cas-" He started, feeling too exposed, knowing that his soul was on display; the same soul that had cut through demons and saved the world was the same soul that took joy in carving into lost souls in Hell.  
Cas hushed him, continuing his map of Dean's face as his fingers came to rest on Dean's slightly opened lips.  
With his eyes closed, Dean nearly gasped as he felt the soft touch of Castiel's lips against his own, chaste and delicate. He screw his eyes shut tighter and carefully pressed back against the fallen angel.

Dean pulled away before Cas could deepen the kiss and opened his eyes to see the man's confused look.

"Why me Cas?" He asked brokenly.

Squinting, Cas tilted his head to the side, his hand still resting on the back of Dean's neck.

"Why not you, Dean?"

Dean choked out a harsh laugh and pulled away from Castiel's touch. "I don't know Cas, maybe because I have fucked up more times than I can count. That I kick started the apocalypse, I tortured souls, I lie, I cheat on a regular basis and you know what? I don't even feel bad about it anymore.' He stopped running a hand through his hair. "Credit car scams, stealing, cutting down every evil son of a bitch I can find and I used to not be able to sleep at night. But all of a sudden," he stopped, pointing at Cas while a trembling jaw. "I can sleep at night, I feel good about waking up in the morning. I look at you and everything feels ok, ya know?"

Dean heaved a shuddered sigh and Cas let him continue.

"Why do I deserve that? After everything I have done, why me?"

He couldn't look at Cas anymore, he couldn't look at the way his face softened or the loving way he smiled. He didn't deserve that.

"Dean, please look at me," Cas whispered, coming close into his personal space and putting a finger underneath his chin. "If we are on the subject of counting sins I could easily best you. Your soul is as bright as it ever was, your heart- the way you have looked after Sam all these years, the selfless way you protect those who would never give you a second glance before. You do it without prejudice and with no thought of reward. You do what you do because its the right thing to do. Please, remember that."

Dean gave Castiel no time to steady himself as he crashing into him, holding him close and pressing his body into his his, his fingers curling through his hair.

Dean pulled away after a few beats, feeling Cas trailing his fingers down his back.

"You should probably get some rest," he said, pointing to the bed and rubbing his face on the back of his sleeve as quickly as possible.

Castiel smiled, "For the first time since I have fallen, I don't think I require any rest Dean."

Dean nodded, "Cas you sure you're ready for this? Battling Metatron, the Grace, the whole works?"

Castiel nodded, flexing his fingers and rolling his shoulders. "Yes, if I can fix what I started in Heaven, if I can fix all of this-its my job, Dean."

Shuffling his feet a bit Dean dared look the man again in the eye.

"That means you probably won't be sticking around much again, huh?" He tried to sound like it didn't matter, like he understood, but he felt his throat constrict and his chest tighten as the words slipped through his lips.

"I will obviously need to ascend back to Heaven at some point-"

Dean held up his hand, "Yea, ok I got it.' he walked to the door, his heart so heavy he swore it was physically paining him. "I'm gonna go get some fresh air, so just figure out whats going on."

"Dean but I-"

Dean shut the door behind him before Cas could finish, gritting his teeth painfully and straightening out as he walked down the hall and grabbing his jacket from the hook he had left it on.

"Hey Dean where are you-" Sam started, standing up as the older Winchester stalked out of the room.

"Out," He snapped, shooting an angry glare at the Archangel who sat at the table as if there was nothing wrong, and slammed the front door, the Impala's keys a comforting weight in his hands.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

The Impala rumbled underneath him, the comforting vibrations and the wind whipping through the open window calmed Dean's thoughts. He didn't really know where he was going, all he knew was that he had to get away. Cas was going to leave him; how stupid could he had been to think that he would stay? Why would anyone stay with him? The moment Cas got a chance to strap his wings back on, he jumped for it. And who could blame him?  
Dean tightened his grip on the wheel almost to the point of pain as the worn leather grip bit into his skin.

"You know," Came a voice next to him, causing him to swerve dangerously into the other lane, "You probably shouldn't drive so fast, I seriously doubt you have full coverage on this rust bucket."

Dean glared at the Archangel sitting comfortably in the seat next to him.

"Go the fuck away Gabriel!" He cried, steering the car back into his own lane with a practiced ease.

"Naw, I don't think I will," Gabe replied casually, resting his feet on the dash, "You see I want to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you," Dean shot back, his eyes staring at the road ahead of him.

"Too bad sport," Clucked Gabriel, "See we have ourselves a little problem here. Castiel was all geared up and ready to fight the newest big bad until you two had your little lovers spat."

Dean didn't say a word, but his heart leapt a bit to learn that Cas had said something to Gabriel.

"Now, you understand we have to fix this right?" Implored the trickster, picking his fingernails.

"Yea cause you guys were doing such a bang up job before," Dean reminded, his voice edged with bitterness.

Gabe looked up, his eyes flashing. "Careful ape,' he growled, sitting up straight and looking straight at the older Winchester.

"So what do you want me to do, huh? Tell him I'm ok with him flinging himself to the wolves?"

Gabe scoffed, "I'm giving him bits of Grace, Dean. Guy will be high as a kite, he'll be more powerful than Metatron after I am through with him."

"So thats all he is to you, huh? A pawn to get back at that pencil pusher? Have you ever even done this before?"

Pinching his fingers together Gabe gave an uncertain look to the drive of the Impala, "Eh, once. He exploded but no worries, he wasn't a vessel just wanted to see if it would work."

Dean slammed on the breaks of the Impala, screeching her to a halt in the middle of the country road before turning to the Archangel in the passenger seat.

"Blew up? Like exploded?' He yelled, aghast. "You have no idea what this will do to him do you?"

"It'll work Dean, he's still got a little angel left in him. The dude he was using has all the nuts and bolts to hold together the Grace of an angel."

Dean shook his head, "Dude, Cas is your brother for fucks sake."

"And he made a mistake, and now I am helping him fix it."

Dean steeled his gaze, looking forward. "And what do you want me to do?"

That got Gabe to smile, "Now there is a team player!' he clapped him on the back, "I need to you to not be so...intense. Cas needs to focus right now and if he is all up confused and thinks you are not for this idea then he will lose control. And unless you want your precious Bunker to be blown off the map with the rest of this shit hole town, then you better can it with the theatrics."

"I am not okay with this plan, not even a little!"

Gabriel tilted his head, his eyes piercing through Dean and unnerving the shit out of him.

"Then lie,' he stated simply, "Its what you are good at."

**AN: EEEEEEE. I am really getting into this one, how do you all like it so far? Am I writing Gabe ok?**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Here it is! An update before the Holidays. Hope you all enjoy, please leave feedback, its a great motivator! HAPPY HOLIDAYS**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

**Chapter Three**

They rumbled up to the dirt driveway of the Bunker only a half hour after he had left; Gabriel had vanished shortly after he quit acknowledging his presence which suited Dean just fine. He took a few deep breaths before finally gathering the courage to open the Impala's door and step out into the warm night air. The Bunker door creaked as he opened it, the smell of cooking dinner immediately assaulting his senses.

"Dean, you're back!" Kevin noticed, his hands full of vintage dishes that he was setting carefully on the table.

Dean nodding in acknowledgment, but looked around somewhat nervously.

"If you're looking for Cas, he is in the training room," Kevin said without looking up from the task at hand. "Seemed a little pissed."

Stalking past Kevin, he pushed back the nervousness he felt deep in the pit of his gut and made his way to the training arena. He didn't need Kevin to tell him that Castiel was upset; the training room had become a haven for Cas when he was upset or they had an argument. A safe place to vent his frustrations without bothering either of the Bunkers inhabitants. If it were up to Dean he would rather the ex angel just scream, yell or throw things. That Dean could tolerate and even handle. But the silent, brooding and down right dangerous man was something that Dean had little experience with, especially when it came to relationships like theirs.

Dean heard the thwak, thwak of fists meeting canvas bags and the harsh breathing and grunting that accompanied each blow. He steeled himself as he opened the door, the low light of the arena cast lazy shadows on the wall and shrouded Castiel with an unearthly haze. The bag was nearly decimated - it hung limply onto the last chain that secured it to the high beam directly above them. Cas's teeth were bared, and his muscles were taunt and tense as each blow fell harder than the last.

Castiel must have noticed Dean's presence because his closed his mouth, set his jaw and reared back and hit the bag with all his might. The punching bag snapped back and with a mighty crack the chain that suspended it lost its battle with the angry fists of the charged almost angel.

Dean watched as Cas just stood there, watching the fallen bag, his chest heaving and his bloody fists still clenched and poised.

"You wanna take it easy on the equipment there feathers?" Dean taunted, breaking the heavy silence between the two of them.

"Leave me alone Dean," Snapped Cas, wiping his brow with the back of his hand and walking over to the wooden bench to retrieve his glass of water.

"We need to talk," Dean replied, his hands dug into his jean pockets and not moving an inch.

"You made it quite clear you wanted to have no such conversation," Cas reminded him, finally looking at him before turning his attention back to his thirst.

"Well I'm ready now, ok?"

Cas rolled his shoulders, his back to Dean. He scoffed, "Oh, so it is convenient for you now. It must be nice for such things to work in your favor."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Ok lets cut the passive aggressive bull shit Cas, ok?"

Cas threw the towel he was using the dab the sweat from his neck and spun to face the hunter.

"How about you cut the bull shit Dean? How about you start listening to me and stop acting like you are the only one in the relationship that matters!"

Dean balled his fists, "Like I haven't given you everything Cas? Like this isn't something I normally do?"

Taking two long strides towards the Hunter, Dean could see the sweat lines in Cas's thread bear white tee shirt, the way it clung to his well defined muscles.

"You are not the one to speak about sacrifices, Winchester," Castiel snarled, his eyes darkening.

Dean stepped back a bit. "Winchester? So we're back to that, huh? Suddenly you got a little bit of juice and all of a sudden you are the almighty Angel and I am the fucking help?"

"You know that is not what this is-"

"Fuck you Cas! Seriously, why don't you go back with your asshole brother and do whatever you feel you need to do. Because obviously you have already made up your mind!" Dean yelled; he could feel himself losing control. His chest was too tight and he could feel his eyes itch at the thought of losing him again. Of him continuing on without him.

His train of thought was quickly halted when he was slammed forcefully against the training room wall, Cas pining his shoulders down and catching his eye. The lights above them flickered as Dean saw a small hint of an unearthly glow beaming from behind Castiel's blue eyes. Fuck.

"Is that what you want Dean? Do you want me to leave?" He rasped, his head tilted and his voice rough, whether with rage or sadness, Dean could not tell.

"No," he huffed; softly, almost too softly for his own ears to pick up and he wondered if he had said anything at all.

Castiel leaned closer, their noses almost touching. Dean could feel the raw power rolling of the other man in waves, it was almost dizzying.

"What do you want from me that I have not already given you?" Dean heard Cas's voice start to break as he spat out the words, and he tried to ignore how hurt he looked, how he kept his eyes trained on his own the entire time.

"I want you stay," Dean whispered, still pined to the wall and willing himself to take even breaths, he screwed his eyes shut against the onslaught of emotions. "Please just don't fucking go Cas, just don't leave me again. Like you always do."

And just like that he felt Castiel's grip loosen and he found himself sliding down the metal wall of the training hall, his forehead resting on his knee as he fought to regain his composure.

Dean felt the angel kneel next to him, he felt the other man's fingers card through his hair and the insistent pressure on the back of his neck urging him to look up.

He shook his head, he couldn't let Cas see him like this; see him so vulnerable, so fucking broken and hurt. He hid this side from him, from Sam, from everyone he came in contact with and he felt all those walls shatter when he told the angel to leave. When the possibility of being left alone came around like it always does. Everyone left him in the end, so why would Cas be any different.

"Please, Dean look at me," Cas pleaded, his voice softer as he continued to stroke the back of his neck and the hairline that met there.

Dean finally did, slowly and hesitantly to meet Cas's gaze.

"All I have ever wanted, Dean Winchester, was to stay with you. To protect you. This," he gestured to himself, "The grace does not change that, Gabriel does not change that. I won't leave you."

Dean heaved a shuddering sigh, "Fuck. I'm sorry Cas, I'm so fucking-"

Castiel cut him off with a hard kiss, knocking Dean's head back against the wall, biting his lip a bit too hard in the process.  
Dean pressed back with just as much fervor, his hands finding their way to tangle in Castiel's soft hair.

Cas pulled away, breathing heavily. He squinting and brought a thumb to brush Dean's lip, and it came away with a tinge of pink.  
"I apologize," he muttered, his eyes wide at his mistake. "I am having trouble reigning in my surge in strength."

Dean licked the tender spot on his lip, tasting the salty, metallic tang and shrugged a bit.

"Gotta remember not to mess with you anymore, feathers," he smiled crookedly.

Castiel started to smile in return when one of the light bulbs over head burst unexpectedly and Cas grabbed Dean's hand as he started to fall over.

"Cas!" Dean cried, jumping to attention as Cas's eyes widened and his muscle's tensed.

They caught each other's eyes once more before Cas's were engulfed in heavenly light for a split second before he fell unconscious on the training room floor.

"Cas! Wake up feathers, come on!" Dean cried, slapping the unconscious angel on the face but his head only fell limply to the side.

"Gabriel!"

**AN: I'M SORRY.**

**Happy holidays... *runs away***


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I have no excuse for my tardiness. Apologies! I hope this makes up for it.**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

The room was thrown into darkness as every light bulb and glass object in the room shattered, sparks reigning down on them.

"Gabriel!" Dean cried, hold Cas's still figure close to him, dots still swimming in his eyes; the last thing he saw before the dark was the brilliance that was Castiel. His very essence on display and his heart was pounding and his ears were ringing.

He heard feet pounding down the hall as the door swung open letting in a stream of light that made his eyes water as it shown on them.

"Dean! What happened?" Sam exclaimed, immediately dropping to the floor next to his brother and the prone figure he still had cradled in his arms.

"Cas, he just...glowed for a second and blew up everything. Passed out," he summarized, stars still dancing in front of his eyes as he searched for any sign on trauma on the fallen angel.

"Dean, your eyes-"

"Step aside," Gabriel demanded drolly, sighing heavily as he dropped a knee besides his fallen brethren. "Cassie do this?"

Dean nodded, checking the man's pulse once again. It still beat fast and strong beneath his finger tips to his relief.

Gabriel touched a finger to Castiel's forehead, barely grazing the skin before he withdrew. "It was just a surge of grace, happens from time to time. Especially since its not his, sometimes the vessel will reject it.' he stood, dusting off his jeans. "He'll wake up anytime now."

Sam wasn't looking at Cas or at Gabriel, but at Dean and it was unnerving as hell.

"What Sam?" Dean snapped, finally drawing his attention away from Cas for a split second to shoot his brother a scathing look.

"Dude, your eyes," he stammered, gesturing to his face. "Did you see Cas? I mean his true form?"

That snapped Gabe's head up and he finally looked at Dean and gave a loud whistle.

"Well hot damn Dean-o. You're lucky you aren't one hot baked potato right now," he said, scanning Dean intently. And though his tone was flippant the skin between his eyes wrinkled and his gaze darkened as he looked at whatever was afflicting Dean unawares.

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?"

Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed his shoulder, turning him to look at the cracked, floor length mirror that stood near the door. Dean gently sat Cas down on the floor and walked towards it, his mouth open.

"Shit," He murmured, wincing as he grazed the red, blistered flesh that had settled around his eyes. The spots in his vision were fading but the marks looks raw and angry. "This was from Cas?"

"You know what happens to humans when they see an angel in true form, Dean," Gabriel reminded him solemnly, his hands shoved in his pockets. "You just got lucky it was just a flare."

Dean looked back to the mirror, blinking a bit when he heard rustling behind him. Cas was standing, albeit off balanced, grabbing at the younger Winchester's arm as he took a deep breath.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice gruff and deep, his eyes screwed shut as it looked like he was trying to make sense of all that had happened.

"You blacked out bro. Told you there could be some mishaps with the grace," Gabriel explained, popping a piece of hard candy into his mouth loudly and dropping the foil to the glass littered floor.

Cas's head shot towards Dean immediately, "Dean, are you alright?" He gasped, Dean could swear he could hear his heart pounding from where he stood, Sam still holding the ex angel steady.

"I'm fine, Cas. You ok?"

"Then look at me," Cas demanded, his voice growing deeper and almost on the edge of panic.

"Cas it wasn't your-"

"Dean look at me!" He cried, stalking towards Dean and tearing his arm out of Sam Winchester's grip.

Dean felt a hand tighten on his shoulder and spin him around. The lights rushed with him and he suddenly got dizzy as the light trails followed him.

"Dammit Cas!" He barked, his hands covering his eyes, trying to sort out his vertigo.

He felt a timid touch under his chin, gently raising his head. He tried not to feel embarrassed as he knew they had an audience, but he pushed Cas's hand away anyway, his face growing hot.

"Dean?" Cas wavered, moving just a bit closer to the man; he could see his feet scooting towards him from where his gaze fell on the floor.

Dean finally raised his eyes, squinting a bit as they continued to water as the adrenaline wore off and the panic had set in. He had almost been burnt alive by angel mojo, definitely not something that was on his to do list that day.

Castiel set his jaw and despite Dean's protests, took his chin again in his hands and turned his head to better inspect the other side of his face.

"Is your vision affected?" He asked solemnly.

"Cas-"

"Answer him Dean," Sam whispered nervously, apparently aware of the tension in the room and obviously upset with whatever had happened in the training room when he was not around.

"Dots. Light trails and shit," he muttered, trying to calm down his fearful angel. "Feathers I'm fine."

"I did this," Cas whispered, his finger tips grazing a rather painful spot of burns near his cheek bone. "I am so sorry Dean."

"Feathers I already told you, its not your fault," he insisted, "Just gotta put some shit on the burns, and I'll be fine."

"I can heal you-" Cas started to bring two fingers to Dean's forehead when Gabe grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Whoa there baby bro, lets reign in the mojo for a bit shall we?' He rolled his eyes, "You nearly deep fried your boyfriend here in a fit of passion, lets just keep your hands to yourself alrighty?"

Dean balked at the archangel and avoided Sam's raised eyebrows at the implication.

Gabe instead, reached for Dean, who instinctively raised both hands and back away from the touch of the unfamiliar celestial.

"Don't touch me you dick, you never said anything like this would happen!" He snapped, gesturing to his eyes and then the room currently filled with shattered glass and broken mirrors.

Gabriel's eyes darkened as he snapped his fingers and all the light bulbs were suddenly in place and lighting up the dim room, the splintered mirrors were back to their seamless state.

"I warned him, warned you both that there could be problems. Now maybe you guys will take me seriously,' He cracked his neck in agitation. "Now are you going to let me heal your peepers or not?"

Dean glanced at Cas, who nodded after taking a moment to take in the archangel before him.

"Ok, but no funny business," Dean warned, clenching his fists as the celestial being rolled his eyes and strolled up to him, fingers just inches from his face.

"Close your eyes lover boy," Gabe instructed, fingers still hovering.

Shooting one last fuck off look to the older angel he did as he was instructed and tried not to gasp when he felt the fingers against his skin, sending a cooling wave of relief to his burned flesh, the immediate relief almost causing him to sag against the wall.

He felt the archangel withdraw and dared to open his eyes, spinning around to face the mirror.

Breathing a sigh of relief, his hands skimmed the once again unmarred skin and delighted in the fact that he now felt balanced as the dots had receded.

"How did that happen?" Cas demanded, speaking once he was sure Dean was alright and had turned to face them again.

Gabe shrugged. "A lot of emotions, feelings and all that jazz. Just overworked yourself. You have to learn to control yourself again Cassie. This isn't like your old mojo, this stuff has a little bit of a kick to it."

Castiel just nodded, turning to Sam. "I apologize for the mess I made, I will endeavor to be more careful in the future."

Sam just nodded, apparently not knowing what to say, especially since everything had been set right and his brother was currently standing unscathed in front of him.

"Dean, we need to talk," Castiel said, taking Dean's hand much to his chagrin, and steered them down the hall and into their room, slamming the door behind them.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

"What is it Cas?" Dean asked, clearly unnerved by the ex angel's sudden need for privacy. What scared him more was the fact that Cas wouldn't look at him, or the fact that he kept shuffling his feet and looking down at the smooth carpet.

"Dean I need to train, I need to-' Cas searched for the words as he finally met Dean's gaze. "get control. And I cannot do that. Not safely. Not around you."

That stopped Dean, he swore he felt his heart skip a beat and all the blood rush to his feet.

"What the hell are you sayin' Cas?" He growled, one second away from putting a fist through a wall.

"I need to learn to control this grace," He gestured to Dean's face, his expression clouded with guilt as he did so. "I could have blinded you. Or worse." He ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "I think, I know, I need to be away from you for awhile. Until I can control myself."

Dean bit the inside of his lip to try to staunch the emotions that were threatening to overtake him.

"You-" he ground out. "You promised me you son of a bitch."

"Dean-"

"No!" Dean screamed, allowing his anger to bubble to the surface. "You promised me, right here in this goddamn room, that you would stay!"

"Dean I hurt you!"

"You think this isn't hurting me you dumb fuck?" He yelled back, kicking his bed frame hard and collapsing on the edge of it, his chest heaving but he refused to let himself go.

Dean was trying to take even, measured breaths as he felt the bed dip beside him and a gentle hand rest on his shoulder.

"Don't fucking touch me, man." He snapped, his eyes clenched shut and his forehead resting on his closed fist as he fought to regain control over himself.

"I won't leave the bunker Dean," Cas resigned softly, not taking his hand off of his shoulder. "I will stay here, with Gabriel and continue to train and still be in your presence. But I cannot stay here, we cannot be-" he stopped, once again as if trying to search for the words to convey what he was trying so desperately attempting to convey. "So close. I cannot focus that way, and I will not risk harming you again."

It was silent for a moment, Dean still breathing deeply and Cas letting him just be, not for a moment taking his hand off of his shoulder. The shoulder where he had left his mark so many years ago.

"You'll stay in the Bunker, no high tailing to some remote continent or island or some shit?" He asked, his tone still edged with anger.

"I swear," Cas sighed. "I do not take my promises lightly, Dean. I would have hoped you would have realized that by now."

Dean finally looked up, "Promise me again, right here, right now."

Castiel inched closer to the Righteous Man, so close Dean could still see the perspiration on his forehead and feel the warm of his breath on his skin.

"I promise you, Dean Winchester."

Dean nodded, sniffed and barely touched the edge of Cas's cheek as he stood and walked over to the bedroom door, opening it slowly.

"I'll uh, have Kevin bring over your things," He said, glancing at the chest of drawers that he had painstakingly arranged to possess both of their belongings.

Nodding, Cas rose, took a look around the room that he had, for the past few weeks, felt completely safe and comfortable in. Dean could feel something ache in him as Cas's fingers barely brushed his as he walked out of the room and down the hall.

That night, for the first time in many weeks, Dean went to bed alone.

**AN: I AM SO SORRY. I suck. Geez. Um...leave some comments? DON'T HATE ME!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey again! See I updated better this time. Hope you all are enjoying, and as always reviews only help me get better!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine and I am sure as hell not making any money off of it**

Dean didn't sleep at all the first night. He tossed and turned, the blankets twisting around his legs and the sweat soaked sheets only deterred his unconsciousness. Every time he closed his eyes all he saw was Cas; bleeding, bloody and broken. Human Cas, Angel Cas, even the Leviathan made an appearance. And each time he woke with a strangled scream lodged in the back of his throat, hair plastered to his head. The fourth time waking, he grabbed his phone in a daze, staring at the small screen until he was able to make out the time.  
Six a.m.  
Fuck.  
He refused to try to shut his eyes one more time, his heart was still pounding in his chest and as much as he hated to admit it, the bed felt empty without the fallen angel pressed against his chest.

The hunter untangled himself from the mess of blankets and sat up on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. It took him a moment but he grabbed the robe from its place hanging next to the bed and slipped it on, trying to ignore how he smelled of dried sweat or how his vision swam from lack of sleep and fatigue. The last 48 hours had been a bitch.

Already half way down the hall he heard talking, plates clattering and the rustling of paper. Everyone was already up. Dean tried to ignore the way his heart leapt when he thought of the fallen angel sitting at the breakfast table, making coffee himself and waking up without Dean at his side. He clenched his fists and pushed those thoughts away, he was Dean fucking Winchester and no one gets to make him feel like this. So his shoulders squared he walked into the room, nodding at Sam who looked up, already concerned as he saw the way his older brother trudged into the room, the dark circles already finding their place under his usually bright green eyes.

"Dean, are you-"

"I'm fine Sammy," Dean cut him off, purposely not making eye contact as he poured a cup of the strongest coffee he could muster. Grabbing a dry bagel only for appearances sake, he crammed a large chuck into his mouth, trying to avoid the questioning looks from the current Men of Letter's inhabitants.

Kevin came out of nowhere, his hair in every which direction and shooting Dean an angry, if not tired, glare.

"Cas was up all night,' he informed, his voice gritty with lack of sleep. "And that means I was. Fix your shit so I can sleep."

"What do you mean he was up all night?" Dean inquired, brows furrowed and concerned.

Kevin rolled his eyes, grabbed a donut from the plastic bag on the counter (Dean was pretty sure Gabriel had something to do with the sugar soaked breakfast pastries), and started to head back in the direction of his bedroom.

"Up all night, nightmares, throwing shit. Same old," Kevin looked at him begrudgingly. "What did you do, man?"

Dean scoffed, "Why would you think I did anything?"

Kevin just gave him a look, bit into the over sprinkled, over frosted, diabetic confectionary and strode off to his room without another word.

"Shit," Dean muttered, his forehead planting hard on the table.

"Dean, what happened last night?" Sam asked warily, watching his older brother unmoving from his spot at the table.

Dean snorted, "Didn't think you'd want to know what goes on between Cas and I at night Sammy," he pushed a crooked smile on his face, though his eyes tired and far too dark for it too reach them.

Rolling his eyes Sam sat down his coffee to stare at his hurting brother.

"You know what I mean, Dean. Why is Cas in his room now?"

Dean shrugged, his eyes fixated on the light colored dining room table. "He uh, said he needed space,' he paused as if saying words caused him great pain. "You know, to train and crap."

"And how do you feel about that?"

Dean grimaced at the younger hunter, pushing his almost untouched coffee back hard, "Oh c'mon Sam, really? Lets cut the therapist bullshit ok?"

Sam stood up with Dean, slamming his hands on the table as he did so.

"Then why don't you cut the your bullshit? You think I don't know that this bothers you? That Cas getting back his powers doesn't scare that shit out of you?"

"And what if it does? How does that make any difference?" Dean yelled back, his voice straining.

"Then talk to me! And for gods sake, talk to Cas!"

"You don't think I have? He's doesn't give two shits what I think, he's on his holy mission. Same shit different day."

"And whats the supposed to mean?" Sam demanded, watching somewhat cautiously as Dean gripped the coffee mug violently.

"It means that no matter what I do, or how I feel people do the exact opposite of what I want, Sammy," Dean fumed, his chest heaving. "So lets shut the fuck up with this feelings bullshit, and stop acting like it is going to help anything!" He slammed the cup down, the vintage ceramic cracking under the pressure and splintering into piece, blood and coffee mixing onto the table.

"Dean, fuck!" Sam cried, rushing to his brothers side and Dean held his bleeding hand close to his chest.

Dean withdrew from Sam's advances, "Just leave me alone," He muttered, clenching his hand into a fist, unaware or unbothered by the trailing blood he left behind him.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Sam Winchester couldn't believe what he was seeing; his older brother, his emotional stunted, closed off brother lashing out at the mere mention of the fallen angel. He knew they were close, hell he had always had a nagging feeling that there was something more between the two, so it wasn't like the fact that his former womanizing older brother was not only hooking up with the ex angel (rather loudly he remembered nauseously), but pretty much head over heels for the other man.  
It was when he caught Dean in the hall, attempting to sneak from Cas's room to his own. Dean turned white, stammered out a piss poor lie, acting like Sam wouldn't notice the few scattered bruises that adorned his collar bone. Sam was worried; not for Dean but for Cas. He wasn't experienced to feelings, intimacy or the fact that Dean wasn't one to stick around.

Then the part that really shocked him to the core; more than the less than savoy sounds that would emanate from the bedrooms, more than the sickening doe eyes he would catch them giving each other from across the table. It was when he woke up to Dean cussing wildly and the sound of something slamming loudly into the wall. He remembered staggering out of bed, his eyes still heavy with sleep, opening his door to see Dean laden down with two boxes in his arms and Cas following behind him, saying something about leaving one behind and Dean snapping that he could handle a few boxes.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam slurred, eyes trying to focus on the scene in front of him.

"Uh-" Dean turned to Sam, still stabilizing the boxes.

"Dean is moving a few of my things into his room," Cas explained, shifting his box as he did so, his eyes shifting to the older hunter.

"Yea, grab a box douche bag," Dean exclaimed, pushing one of the heavier boxes into Sam's arms, winking as he did so.

Sam shook his head at the memories- he had to talk to Cas.

As he walked towards the training room, Gabriel appeared in front of him.

"Whoa there big boy," Gabe said, placing one hand on Sam's chest. "I got a hunt for you."

Sam stared at him perplexed, "A hunt? Wha- now?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Yes, now! I thought you were the smart one."

Sam ignored the remark, "What kind of hunt and why the hell can't you take care of it?"

"Warded big boy. The angelic, such as myself, can't get in there. But you three can."

"Three?" Sam asked curious.

"You, Deano and Cassie," Gabe said obviously.

"I thought you said it was warded," Sam asked. "How can Cas get in?"

"He's not full angel dumbo. And you can use the back up," Gabe said, his eyes averting the younger Winchesters gaze as a small, foil wrapped chocolate was placed in his mouth.

"Why would we need back up. We've been doing pretty well by ourselves if you hadn't heard," Reminded Sam.

"Well because there are more than a few dozen demons shacking up in his old hotel downtown. Sounds like your thing, am I right?"

"Fine, let me talk to Dean and I'll-"

"No need!" Gabe smiled, snapping his fingers.

And without any warning, Sam was transported to an outdoor location, Dean, still wrapping his hand in gauze was standing next to him with his eyes wide. Cas had been placed farther away, spinning around in confusion.

"Gabriel!" Sam growled, looking around for the short archangel in unbridled fury.

"You might want to be quiet Sambo. A lot of demons in there," Came Gabriel's snarky voice.

"Demons? What the hell is he talking about?" Dean demanded, his hand on his stomach. The after the affects of transporting such long distances wasn't pleasant in the slightest.

"A hunt, he said he had a hunt for us," Sam snarled, gripping the demon blade that had been placed in his pants.

Before Sam could elaborate anymore, the door burst open to the building and he heard Dean swear softly as the demons spilled through.

**AN: Ok sorry its a bit of a filler chapter but the next chapter (which I have outlined and will probably have up tomorrow) will have more action, blood and destiel love. Did you like Sam P.O.V.? Let me know by dropping a comment by!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey everyone, so I hope there is still interest in this story, I'm going to bump it up a notch and hopefully put some new kind of omph in this story  
Enjoy the fight scenes peoples!**

**Also, Dean might be a tad bitter.**

**Also want to thank the lovely readers who took the time to review. You all really make my day and I wouldn't continue writing this if it wasn't for your support. Honestly, I've had a bit of a writing block that I just recently got over. THANK YOU**

**Disclaimer: Not my thing. And not getting paid for the thing that is not mine.**

The demons spilled through the door, the commotion from the group outside drawing them out. Dean immediately going this belt were the gun had been stashed, his hand still half bandaged.

"Dean!" Sam yelled, turning Dean's attention to the possessed woman that was headed straight for him. The cut must have been deeper than Dean had thought,his hand shaking a bit as he put a bullet deep in the skull of the demon in front of him.

It had been awhile since Dean felt the heat rushing through his veins, the heat of battle and the metallic scent of blood wafting around him as Sam was making short work of the two attacking him.

All Dean could hear was the pounding of the blood in his ears, as a handful of demons raced through the open door to assist their fallen brethren.

"Sam! We need to close the door!" Shouted Dean, realizing too late that he was nearly out of ammunition.

Sam nodded, and with a quick look to his older brother they surged forward, Sam swiping as he went and blood rained around him the demons fell under his trained hand.  
Dean ducked and swayed, attempting to save his dwindling bullets for when he needed them.

Dean grabbed the steel handle of the old hotel door and pushed it shut, gasping as the horde of possessed bastards raged against it.  
The door slammed shut as Sam rammed the long demon blade into the skull of the doors only remaining obstacle.

The knocks, growls and banging from the other side warned the two that the demons were not going to give up so easy.

"Why the hell did he drop us here? Its like a fucking nest!" Dean fumed, fumbling in his pockets only to find them empty of any other provisions or ammunition.

"Cas what the fuck was that?" Sam cried, his knuckles white from his tense grip on the demon blade.

Cas shook his head, his eyes wide and confused.

"I honestly do not know. I am as bewildered as you two," Cas replied honestly. He was glad only in the loose pajama pants that Dean had bought him the first week had lived in the bunker, and Dean noticed the black undershirt immediately as his own.

"Yea I'll bet," he heard Sam mutter.

"Listen, we need to clear these things out and get the fuck home, alright?" Dean reasoned, "I hardly have any ammo left and there could be dozens left in there."

He looked at Cas uneasily; they hadn't spoken since the night before and seeing the other man was unnerving and ruining his perfect plan of stoic indifference.

"Cas, can you use your mojo and blast those fuckers?"

Castiel didn't look at him in the eye, but nodded slowly. "I believe so, Gabriel had given me another wave of his grace only a few hours ago."

That stopped Dean, "He juiced you up and I wasn't there? You saw what happened last ti-" he stopped himself, closing his eyes and holding up a hand. "Never mind, just get your ass in there and fix this so I can go home."

"Dean I-"

"Shut it feathers," Dean stopped, paling a little. "I mean Cas..." he stammered again.

Castiel narrowed his eyes and in an instant he was gone, the rush of wings the only sound to his disappearance.

Dean looked back at the hotel, shielding his eyes as light leaked through the windows and the cracks of the door. The screams and pounding fists of the trapped demons could be heard outside.

And just like that, it was done. The smell of burnt flesh and the sound of wings as Castiel made himself known only a few feet away from the brothers.

"Well, I gotta say I miss that," Sam whispered, looking at Dean carefully as he surveyed the juiced up ex angel in front of him.

A slow clap emanated from behind them, causing the three to whip around to see Gabriel, a knowing smirk plastered on his face.

"You son of a bitch!" Cried Sam, lifting the knife up a bit though he knew it would do nothing to the archangel.

"Oh Sammy save me the dramatics. I had to take ole' Cassie boy for a trial run, see if the mojo was taking," Gabriel explained, pointing to the seraph behind them.

"This was a test?" Dean yelled angrily, stepping closer to the shorter man aggressively. "We could have been killed!"

Gabriel rolled his eyes dramatically, "But you weren't, so stop with the belly aching." With a snap of his fingers they were back to the safety of the bunker. "Phew what a day, you have no idea what I had to do to round up those slimy bastards."

"You drew, nearly 40 demons just to test a theory?" Sam fumed, slamming the knife onto the table and cracking his knuckles.

"42 to be exact, and yea I did," Gabriel announced, completely unconcerned.

Thats when Dean noticed Cas- he was slumped a bit, a tired look on his face and his shoulders were twitching every few minutes.

"Cas, you ok?" Sam beat him to it, and good thing too because Dean really wanted to go back to ignoring the man.

"I am...drained. I need to rest," was all Cas would say on the matter, but Dean could tell that there was more. He knew Cas intimately enough to notice the way he was slouching was more than exhaustion, that the dark look in his eyes conveyed more than what he was letting on.

"Yea you go do that," snapped Dean, ignoring the way Cas looked at him, slamming the gun on the table.

In typical Cas fashion, he tilted his head, his eyes scanning Dean's body, causing Dean to scoot away from his view.

"You're injured," Cas stated, his eyes immediately dropping to his hand.

"I'm fine," snapped Dean, holding his hand to his chest protectively.

"I can heal you now," Reminded Cas, his face full of hope as the realization had suddenly hit him.

"Yea I'd like to keep my eyes thanks," Dean retorted harshly, regretting his words immediately as he saw Cas draw back.

"Dean!" Snapped Sam, disapproval etched over his face.

"Its alright Sam," whispered Cas, obviously hurt by the older Winchester's harsh words. His face was dark when he made his way to Dean, who had clenched his jaw and stood his ground. "Do not let your anger for me put yourself in danger."

And with that, he unwound Dean's hand from his chest, gently but his gaze never left Dean's face and he knew that he was making a stand. And if Dean wanted to make it an argument it would be one he would surely lose.

He could feel Sam's eyes on them as Cas pulled the hurriedly patched hand as he gently unwrapped the blood soaked gauze.  
Dean hissed as the bandaged pulled at the jagged edges of the open wound, the kick from his gun during the shoot out causing the cut to bleed and become sore.

"Cas don't," Dean pleaded softly, his previous words echoing in his head, but in reality he didn't want to cause Castiel anymore pain or possibly drain the juiced up angel.

"Be quiet Dean," Castiel growled, leaving no room for debate as he softly brushed his fingertips against the cut. It was strangely intimate, Dean feeling heat pooling in his body as Cas's eyes still stayed on him. Dean felt his mouth open unbidened, a soft sigh escaping his lips. He swore he saw Castiel's lips pulled a bit, an almost smirk.  
"Let me concentrate," he commanded, and Dean swore his voice was deeper, rougher than he was before.

Sam stepped a little closer to the pair cautiously, "Cas, are you sure-"

"Sam, I need to focus," Castiel snapped, his voice charged and left no room for disobedience.

Dean had almost forgot that there was someone else in the room, Castiel was taking all his attention.

Brushing his fingers again over the cut, Dean watched in rapture as Cas's eyes started to glow ethereally, his focus entirely on Dean. And thats when he felt it, nothing like before,when Cas was at full strength. Then it just felt like a twinge, a rush of power and heat all going to one central location.  
It was slower, like a trickle of warmth spreading down his veins and ebbing with each heart beat. Dean kept his eyes closed tight, trying to focus on the tingling that ran down to his injured palm.  
Cas was still, completely focused on the task at hand; he felt an overwhelming pull to move closer to the other man, he felt himself inching forward, their faces only a few inches apart.

He stared in wonder at his palm, and the slight tickle he normally felt was amplified to a dull itching, pull as he watched his skin slowly serge together as Castiel's healing powers took control.  
Shuddering, Dean let out a shaky breath as Cas looked into his eyes, obviously concerned.

"Dean, are you alright?" Cas asked, his fingers dancing over the now unmarred skin.

"Yea, yea I'm good Cas,' Dean breathed, feeling a bit light headed. The after shocks of the healing giving him a fuzzy feeling, like his skin was crawling.

"You may need to sit down," Cas suggested, leading him to the already pulled out chair next to the table.

"Did it work?" Sam asked, peering at Dean's now smooth hand in excitement.

"Go job kiddo, knew you had it in you," Gabriel exclaimed, popping out from the kitchen, guzzling a soda that Dean was pretty sure had not been in the Bunker in the first place. "You're almost ready."

"Almost ready for what?" Dean asked, clenching and unclenching his healed hand.

Gabe looked at him with a smile, "To face Metatron of course."

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Cas stumbled into his room, his wings were weighing him down and causing his balance to falter. Without being at his full strength, with his own grace, they were too heavy for his mortal body. The amount of strength he had exerted healing Dean was substantial, even on such a minuscule as a gash had sapped him dry. He was lucky to stumble away from the group without drawing attention to his condition.

He sat heavy onto his bed, a low moan escaping his mouth as he settled and the weight on his legs dissipated to a dull ache.  
Cas looked down as his fingertips, they were still tingling slightly from the energy that had passed through them only minutes before. He stretched them, peering at the digits thoughtfully.

He could feel the constant ebb and flow of the borrowed grace flittering around vess- his body. Cas closed his eyes, rolling his shoulders and feeling the mending wings shift around him.  
As his closed eyes brought him to thoughts he would rather not deal with at that time; the way Dean had pulled away from him before he healed him, the way his wrist had trembled when he had held it in his grasp, the look he had given him as Cas had mended the gash.

Slowly, he unbuttoned his shirt, his fingers still fumbling over the small plastic buttons as he allowed his back to relax in the privacy of his own room. He knew that his wings were still rancid, the feathers still holding on desperately to the bare bones that once housed magnificent plumage. Cas looked around the room silently, the bare walls and painfully empty four corners were a stark contrast to the room that he and Dean had shared. The small pile of clothing was the only sign that someone resided in the the area at all. Some of Dean's old worn shirts that he had let him borrow, two pairs of jeans that Dean had surprised him with, when he had realized the jeans we had been borrowing were much too large and barely held up even with the sturdiest of belts.

Castiel felt lonelier than he had in months; even with the reemergence of this grace, he felt like he was slowly losing everything over again. Everything he had worked so hard for, a place to stay, simple things like clothing and a toothbrush. And not so simple things, like Dean Winchester.

He had his back turned to the door, so he didn't hear it open, he didn't see Dean standing there or the sad way he looked at him.

And he didn't notice when Dean turned, and walked out.

**AN: UP NEXT (Chapter already partially written) wings and soul bonding. Because really, can there ever be enough of that?!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Here we go! Thanks again for the comments and views. I'm kinda blown away. I am kinda out of my writers block, so this chapter has a lot of shit happening.  
Also this chapter has some activities of an intimate nature so be advised. If you aren't old enough to read please don't.  
Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

Gabriel chuckled darkly and Castiel missed the him again, stumbling mid swing.  
"Damn you are out of practice little bro," he smiled, stepping back as Cas regained his footing and stood there, panting in the cool training room.  
"Its been awhile since I have had an opponent to spare with," Cas grumbled, straightening and cracking his spine.  
Gabe scoffed, "From what I hear, you and Dean do plenty of sparring on your own time," he winked lewdly and Cas growled, lunging at the archangel.  
In his rage, Cas pinned Gabe to the wall, forearm pushed against his throat.  
"Don't talk about Dean that way," Cas snarled, his eyes bright with anger and a hint of embarrassment that the ribbing from his older brother had caused.  
"Whoa there Cassie, just a little joke. You need to lighten up," Gabe didn't look even a bit put out even as Cas struggled to keep the angel pinned. With a tilt of his head Gabriel sent Cas flying to the other end of the dojo, his head connecting painfully with the glass wall there, splintering around him.  
Castiel stayed where he had landed, his head spinning and his breathing coming in short pants as he tried to regain his control.  
Gabriel was at his side in a second, kneeling down to the fallen ex angel.  
"Heal yourself. You have it in you, now do it," Gabe demanded with a hint of danger lingering on his tongue.  
Cas groaned as he attempted to steady himself. Closing his eyes and digging into the part of him that had been dormant for so long, feeling the touch of celestial grace pooling around his consciousness.  
He nudged it, urging it to work in his favor-to heal the head wound and concussion, pushing the slivers of glass from the back of his head and shoulders.  
Relief instantly flooded him, pouring over his hurts like warm water and sealing the blood back into his body. He heard the sound of glass being replaced on the wall and it falling from his back and head.  
His head stopped pounding and his ears ceased the roaring.

Cas looked up to see Gabe smiling, "See? Knew you had it in ya."  
He took Cas's arm and helped him up.  
"Are you ready?"  
"Ready?" Cas answered, straightening the old band tee that he realized painfully was one of Deans.  
Gabriel rolled his eyes annoyed. "To fix heaven doofus. We have to take this battle to Metatron."

Cas nodded, "Yes, its time I put things right."

"I'm sensing a but coming in..."

"But Dean-"

Gabriel glowered at the man in front of him, anger seeping through him.  
"Castiel, its time for you to grow the fuck up. This little infatuation you have with Dean Winchester is becoming a nuisance. I'm all for shacking up with the humans but you don't, ever, fall for them." Gabriel was shaking now with fury, his eyes darkened.

Cas tilted his head, his eyes deep and sad.

"Gabriel you don't understand," he whispered. "I already have."

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Kevin Tran was lounged on his bed, ear buds in and a baloney sandwich left untouched on his bedside table. Sam had suggested that he take a break from the tablet, maybe get some recreational time in. So here he was, attempting to forget that the weight of the world rested on his shoulders and that the tablet still lay half translated next to him.  
A book lay in his lap but he couldn't find himself able to concentrate on the black and white print in front of him. Angrily, he tossed the book aside and rubbing his eyes in frustration.  
All of the sudden there was a ringing in his ears, enough that the pulsing in his head magnified and his eyes lost focus.  
"Fuck...fuck!" He whispered, holding his hands over his ears, trying not to lose his battle with consciousness.  
As soon as he uttered those words, the ringing stopped as abruptly as it had begun. He looked around in confusion, realizing that the light bulb in his lamp had shattered and the water he had sitting next to it was dripping slowly onto the floor, the glass in a thousand pieces.  
Kevin stood up on shaky legs and found his way to the door, flinging the door open.  
"Sam!"

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Everyone in the common area whipped to attention at the sound of Kevin's cry.  
"Shit," Sam whispered, his chair toppling as he rushed to the prophet.  
Honestly, Sam was almost thankful for the distraction. It was getting a little tense in the common room, Dean pretending to watch some sci-fi flick while Cas stared at him creepily in the corner.  
It was giving Sam the creeps and the whole awkward situation was getting to him.  
"Kevin?" He panted, seeing the prophet leaning against the door frame of his room, a light trickle of blood running down his ear and onto in shirt collar. "Kevin what happened?"  
Kevin shook his head, touching the itching trickle of blood and wincing as it came into view.  
"I dunno, it was...ringing. Really high pitched. My light bulb broke?" He still seemed to be in a state of shock, his face ashen.  
He saw Dean straighten and shoot a look at Cas and Gabriel.

"Did you guys do this?" He snapped, pointing at the injured prophet.

Cas tilted his head, "We were not communicating to Kevin if thats what you are asking."

"Then who was? This place is warded against all off those heavenly dicks, why is he hearing them?" Dean demanded, his face red and Sam could tell he was panicking. "Its funny how everything has been fine until you started juicing up Cas!" Cas squinted at the man angrily, standing his ground.

This place was the one place that Dean felt safe, safe enough to wear pajamas to bed, safe enough not to hide a gun under his pillow. If the warding were failing he didn't know how Dean would cope.

"The wards are still in affect, I can feel them," Cas argued, looking albeit nervously around the hall and back to the common hall of the bunker.

"Gabe?" Sam tried, noticing the lack of input from their most recent wayward angel. "Anything to add?"

Gabriel snapped to attention, "Don't look at me big foot, not my doing."

"Come on, Kevin. Lets get you to the infirmary." Sam placed a comforting hand on Kevin's trembling shoulder, and led him down the hall.

He looked back to see Cas and Dean locked in a heated glaring match before Dean shook his head and walked to his room. The slam of his door reverberated down the hall.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Dean slammed his door hard enough to make him wince as the slamming echoed behind him. He growled in frustration, trying to regain control of his anger, reigning it in with the breathing exercises Cas had been teaching him.  
The older Winchester squeezed his eyes shut, "Fuck Cas," He whispered. It'd be three days since they have been apart. He couldn't look at him without feeling like he was being punched in the stomach. Dean refused to make this easy for him, it was his decision to fuck this up, his decision to move back into his own room.  
It coiled in Deans stomach and settled like a rock in his stomach, the constant churning and anxiety had left him unsettled. He grabbed the hidden bottle of whiskey, freshly stocked. He tried not to remember that he had not needed a drink when Cas was around and he gulped the strong stuff until his head spun.

Dean Winchester wasn't like this, he wouldn't be brought down by something like this. The more he talked to himself in his head the worse he felt.  
He needed to speak to Cas. He couldn't take this bullshit anymore.  
"Godammit," He whispered, gathering every ounce of courage and stood up, walking in the direction of Castiel's bedroom.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Dean was at a loss for words when he entered Castiel's room. He didn't bother to knock; it seemed too formal for what they had. Whatever that was.  
Castiel's room was nearly empty, which was to be expected since the guy didn't own really anything aside from the few articles of clothing he bought from a second hand store and a handful of Dean's old shirts. Dean never admitted to Cas why he gave them to him; he loved seeing him in something Dean had worn, out of the dressy coat and tie he seemed more human. More approachable. But now, in the soft glow of the lone bedside lamp, Cas looked too human. Miserable, his posture hunched and his head bowed as almost in prayer.

"Cas?" He ventured softly, not wanting to startle the once skittish angel.

Cas turned only his head, "Hello Dean." God, Dean thought his heart had stopped at the gravely voice repeating that same greeting he had heard so many times before and some how not enough.

"Couldn't find you anywhere else. Figured you were hold up in here."

"I thought you would realize that I wanted to be alone and leave me to it," Cas replied harshly, his back still turned to Dean.

Dean paused for a moment, still standing in the same spot, suspended by his indecision.

"I'm sorry for what I said back there," he whispered, rubbing his palm where the gash used to be.

The prone ex angel only nodded his acknowledgment.

"I just uh, wanted to say thank you," Dean waved his hand dumbly. "For patching me up before."

"You're welcome, I assume you're vision is still intact?"

"Goddammit Cas, really? I'm trying to apologize," Dean insisted, moving closer to Cas, even as he kept his back turned.

It was in that moment that Cas chose to move, in a flurry of movements he was on his feet and only inches away from Dean, nearly causing him to stumble back in surprise.

Dean parted dry lips, "I thought you couldn't be around me like this."

"I haven't been sleeping well and I am aggravated," Cas reasoned, his voice deep and his pupils blown.

"Yea neither have I."

It was one of the first times Cas really took charge, gone was the timid, lost Cas he had been getting used to and in its place was the very powerful, strong Castiel.

Dean felt himself being pulled to the bed, his shirt ripped over his head.

"Couldn't stand to be away from me for a few nights, huh?" He smirked, though he tried not to convey his nervousness as Cas pushed him back into the soft comforter.

"Shut up Dean," Cas commanded, pulling the worn black tee shirt over his head and tossing it in the corner before draping himself over Dean.

Dean tried not to moan as their skin met, electricity pulsed between them unlike anything he had ever felt before.

"Cas whats happening?" He panted, his eyes searching the nearly-angel above him.

"Trust me Dean. Thats all I have ever asked," Cas whispered, pressing soft, open mouth kisses down Dean's neck, his teeth nipping at his collar bone as he moved above him.

Dean moved his fingertips over Castiel's back and he swore he could hear an electric hum as he did so.

"I would like to show you something," Cas admitted finally, moving his hand to the center of Dean's chest. "I believe you will enjoy it."

Dean smirked, his heavy lidded eyes racking over Cas.

"I think I'm already enjoy this quite a bit feathers."

Cas couldn't help but smile in fondness over the pet name, finally escaping Dean's lips.

"Hold still," he commanded, his hand falling away from where they were carding through Dean's hair and settling on his chest.

Dean's heart quickened as he felt something warm originate from Cas's palm that was pressed gently on his chest.

"Cas?" He gasped, his eyes screwed shut. "What is that?"

"My grace," Cas answered solemnly. "Its reaching out to you."

Dean's eyes snapped open and he pulled away instantly, images of Sam being held down, screaming through a belt that he had nearly bit in half when Cas reached through him to touch his soul.

Cas held him down by his shoulder, holding him to place easily.  
Dean was on the verge on panic as he did so, years of being tied up, tortured and immobilized urged his body to escape. He felt his breathing speed up for an entirely different reason. Dean found himself almost fumbling for a weapon.

Cas's eyes widened and he let go as soon as he saw Dean's muscles tighten and the wild look that suddenly overtook his features.

"Dean," he spoke softly, his hand still on his chest but no longer pressing down. "It won't hurt. Please trust me."

Licking his chapped lips, Dean searched Cas for a moment, trying to subdue the panic bubbling in his chest before he nodded.

Cas drew him closer, gentler this time and kept his eyes on him as he pressed down again.  
This time, the reaction was instant; Dean's whole body felt like it was on fire, but no pain just complete and utter calm and pleasure and power. He felt his body arch towards the touch, and heard the eager, somewhat embarrassing wanton moans that were passing through his lips.

"Cas...holy fuck feathers," Dean moaned as a string of nearly incoherent words strung together and spilled from him as he felt Castiel press his hand closer, the finger tips clawing into his chest as he felt an extra burst of power trickle from them. His ears were ringing and his head was spinning.

Cas pulled away and Dean groaned from the lack of contact, his back hitting the bed.

"Cas, what the fuck," he gasped, blinking a few times to clear the pin pricks of light that floated around him. "What was that?"

"My grace," Cas explained, still pressed against the man beneath him, his fingers making small patterns around his collar bone. "Its something very personal to celestial beings. We are essentially baring our souls to another being. Normally this is done with another angel."

"Is this like, allowed?" Dean asked curiously.

Cas shrugged, staring down at Dean's chest as his fingers traced the skin.

"Its more...intense for humans. Normally its not done,' he paused for a moment, as if he wanted to say more and was trying to figure out if he really wanted to.

"What is it Cas?"

"When it is done to its fullest extent, the two souls become bound if you will. It binds the grace and in your case, the human soul together. The marriage between the two causing an immediate effect between the two. The two parties can communicate telepathically in some instances," He didn't look at Dean as he explained, instead finding ways around looking at him directly.

Dean was silent, his head was still buzzing as he came down from the grace high that was Cas, but he was pretty damn sure he had said marriage and he couldn't quite get his head around that.

Cas seemed to notice his preoccupation and shifted between him, Dean gasped as he remembered that Cas still sat between his legs.

Cas shifted again, watching Dean's face as he tried to cut off the low groan that bubbled from his chest.

"I've missed you, Dean," He whispered, leaning closer and bringing his hips to meet Dean's once again, causing the Winchester to grab at his back as he scrambled for purchase.

Castiel smiled a bit, tilted his head and then gasped so his pants dematerialized and he was left with skin touching skin.

"Um, nice trick Cas," He grinned, pushing his shoulders to roll Cas beneath him.  
But Cas refused to budge, only pressing closer to Dean, peppering his vulnerable neck with soft kisses, sucking over his pulse point.

"Cas, please," Dean moaned, finding his voice nearly failing him.

Cas smiled into his neck, his fingers tracing down his ribs, pulsing grace through him and causing Dean to writhe under his ministrations.

Feeling Cas pause above him, Dean opened his eyes to find Cas looking at him uncertainly.

"Whats wrong feathers?"

"Dean, will you allow me to-" he simply rolled his hips again in place of words and Dean froze. His mind racing between his mind screaming fuck yes and the nervous fluttering in his stomach.

"We've done this many times Dean," Cas reminded softly.

"But not like this," Dean replied. He licked his dry lips and Cas dipped in for a deeper kiss, pushing all his emotions and his want through it.  
As Castiel pulled away, Dean nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving the angel's above him. Cas smiled, his hand running down to Dean's thigh, hooking it around his waist and forcing them closer.  
Dean's heart raced. Fuck he was doing this. He had always taken charge with Cas when he was human, he was inexperienced and shy and Dean was patient. But this wasn't human Cas, this was Castiel; the angel he had found himself so infatuated with, the angel that could destroy an entire civilization with his mind was currently pressing himself closer to Dean. It was terrifying, but Dean couldn't find a reason not to trust him. He trusted him with everything else.

"You're nervous,' Cas commented, pausing suddenly. "Are you alright?"

"Yea, yea I'm good," Dean stuttered but Cas had stilled and waited for a further response. "Its just, we haven't done anything like this since Gabe's been juicing you up."

Cas nodded in understand. "I'll be careful Dean, I promise."

Nodding, he let himself relax, focusing on Cas's hands roaming his hips and thighs and taking a deep breath as Cas lined himself up with Dean.

"Dean," he called softly above him, "Breath."

Dean nodded, letting himself relax and Cas pressed into him slowly.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Dean moaned, tensing as he felt Cas pushing inside him. His mind shut down to any kind of reason as his hands scrambled to the comforter that was pooled around him and grabbed at the cloth, trying to ground himself as his anxieties took over.

He panted as Cas stilled, trying to will himself to relax even though a supernaturally strong, celestial being was over him and perfectly able to smite him to dust.

"Dean, look at me," he heard Cas say, obviously concerned. "Dean please."

Dean reluctantly opened his eyes, feeling much too vulnerable for his comfort.

"Breath, Dean," Cas commanded gently, brushing his sweat soaked hair away from his forehead.

"I'm trying Cas," He whined, slamming his eyes shut again.

"Let me try something," Cas whispered, and Dean nodded and gave himself over to the celestial being.

He felt the warmth of Cas's palm against his sternum and he visibly relaxed as a cool wave of relief rushed over him, pressing back the pain and leaving him saturated in pleasure.

"Holy fuck-" Dean grated out, his voice wrecked. "Cas, what are you-"

"Relaxing you," Cas replied, moving again and instead of panic, Dean felt a moan break from him. "I can do that now," he reminded with a smile as he shifted Dean's thigh to pull them closer together.

All he felt as Cas inside him, shifting and thrusting as their bodies met over and over.

Castiel wasn't even breaking a sweat, his gaze constantly watching Dean as he writhed under him.

It wasn't long before Dean felt himself tense, his fingernails racking down Cas's back and he let himself go.

The electricity was back, pulsing under Cas's skin and causing his hair to stand up on his arms and neck and he watched as Cas pressed his eyes closed and the lone light bulb that lit the room exploded as his true voice broke through.

They lay there, Dean drenched in sweat as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

"I apologize for losing control like that," Cas said apolitically and Dean could barely make out his sheepish expression.

"Feathers, don't ever apologize for that again," Dean pulled him in for a kiss.

Cas stayed there for a moment, his forehead leaned against Dean.

"I still need you Dean, please don't ever doubt that."

"I need you too feathers," Dean replied softly.

Dean could feel the need to express the emotions that were attempting his burst from him, but he pushed it down. Last time he was even a tiny bit close to this happy he was with Lisa, and he let his guard down and look what happened there. He couldn't-

"Dean," Cas breathed, moving to lay next to him and pulling him beside him, pressed flush against his back and their legs tangling together. "Stop thinking so loud."

"Dude are you cuddling me?" Dean asked as goosebumps rose on his skin as Cas ran feather light caresses up and down his arm.

"Do you want me to stop?" Cas asked unconvinced and refusing to loosen his grip.

Dean smiled and he knew Cas couldn't see him, the dark still enveloping the room.

"Naw, I'm good."

**AN: AHHHHHH I DID IT. Holy crap I hope it was ok? One super long chapter or two short chapters are left before I am finished with this story. Let me know what you think, I'm super nervous!**

***runs and hides***


	8. Chapter 8

**An: ok guys looks like the last chapter is after this! I have a one shot I'll be publishing afterwards I think you'll all enjoy, then it's back to work on my novel. I'll probably post a few one shots though! Thank you all for reading, you guys are the best**

**Disclaimer: not mine and I'm not making any money off of this**

Dean woke slowly, his brain foggy from his post coital daze.  
He smiled softly, reaching for Cas only to find his side of the bed empty and cold. Dean frowned and tried his best not to be hurt that the angel had left him so early in the morning. Especially after last night. Pushing his hurt feelings aside, he gruffly walked to Cas's small bathroom; it was void of almost everything save a lone tooth brush laying half hazardly on the lip of the sink and have half used roll of toilet paper. Dean already missed his room, or at least the room he had shared with Cas. He picked up his jeans that had been thrown off in such a hurry last time and trudged down the hall to jump into a hot shower. He was sore, sweaty and the fact that Cas had left him that morning really didn't help anything.

"Walk of shame Deano?" Chuckled Gabriel, walking past him towards the kitchen.

Dean raised his middle finger to the arch angel, "Fuck you asshat," he mumbled, slamming his door angrily.

Fucking angels.

Dean quickly shunned his sweat stained shirt and eased into the steaming shower with an audible sigh. The stood there quietly for a few moments, letting the water beat over his sore muscles and quieting his mind. Running his hands down his chest he gingerly prodded the few brushed left my Cas's teeth in the heat of the moment, and he smiled despite himself when he found a few fingerprint shaped ones dotting his hips.

He bit his lip and dropped his hand from his hip, letting it settle on steam warmed tile.

Dean was so lost in his thoughts he barely heard the movement behind him, and when he did his eyes snapped open and he spun around and stumbled back against wall, screeching in an undignified manner.

"What the FUCK Cas?!" He cried, wiping the water from his eyes as he tried to cover himself; he realized when Cas rolled his eyes that it was rather idiotic, with what the status of their relationship. And the things they did.

"You were thinking about me, I thought you might have needed something," Cas replied gruffly, his eyes scanning the body in front of him.

"I'm in the shower Cas," Dean said, explaining the obvious.

Castiel nodded, a glint in his eye. "I am aware."

Dean Winchester stood there for a moment, dazed and completely caught unaware. That fucking angel was seducing him, HIM, Dean Winchester.

"Are putting the moves on me Cas?" Dean asked incredulously pointing at the other man inside the thankfully large shower.

Tilting his head, Cas squinted through the mist. "What moves are you referring to?"

Dean growled, seizing the opportunity and pressing Cas against the wall behind him, tangling his fingers in the damp worn tee shirt. The same tee shirt Cas had worn to bed.

"Why weren't you in bed when I woke up?" Dean mumbled, pressing a few open mouth kisses down the angel's neck.

"I apologize, Gabriel needed to speak with me," Cas replied, sighing a bit as Dean bit down on a particularly sensitive spot on his collar bone.

Dean stopped, rolling his eyes. "Thought we agreed to leave our brothers out of our conversations when are being "intimate"."

"You don't like him," Cas observed and Dean felt the his eyes boring into his skull. He pulled away.

"Really, ya just finding that out?" Dean scoffed, his arousal diminishing as the hole in the pit of his stomach opened up as he remembered that Gabe was going to be taking Cas away. And there was nothing he could do about it.

Grabbing a towel from the rack he ruffled the fluffy cloth through his dripping hair. The towel was warm from the room and it was fluffy, instead of the threadbare, bleached to death terry clothes he had become use to growing up.

"Dean," Cas was behind him now, annoyingly dry.

"What."

"Talk to me."

Dean smiled, turning slowly. "You know what, how about we don't talk?"

"Dean, I leave in a few hours. We should speak."

He chuckled darkly, shaking his head as he pulled a clean shirt over his head. Turning to the perplexed angel, he finally met his eyes. And his chest just ached. It fucking ached.

Cas stepped back a bit as Dean stepped forward, not hiding his confusion as he brought a hand to the back of his neck and pulled him in for a slow kiss. Dean knew that the other man could feel him shaking, his hand was trembling even as it rested against the nap of his neck. But he didn't say anything as he drew away.

"We can talk,' he whispered, "When you get back." His hand slid down to his cheek, his thumb dragging down his stubbled chin as he pulled away and walked out of the bathroom.

Fuck if he was going to see him breaking down.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Sam, Charlie and Gabe were all sitting at the table when Dean and Cas emerged from the their respective rooms. The tension was palpable, Sam's gaze flittering over to Dean who chose to ignore the understanding look.

"Ready to go then?" Gabriel asked, serious for the first time since he had gotten there.

Cas looked pointedly at Dean, who was busy rubbing a thumb against the wood grain of the table. He nodded.

The fact that Cas was wearing the trench coat again didn't escape Dean's notice; or anyone else at the table.

"At least you lost the tie," Sam chipped in, stupidly trying to lighten the mood.

He saw him shot Sam a grateful smile before he stepped forward to Gabriel, who was extending his hand to his younger brother.

"Wait," Dean choked out, his hand turning into a fist.

"Dean?" Cas inquired curiously.

"We don't have a lot of time here Romeo so let-"

"That soul bonding shit, does it work?" Dean exclaimed, making it obvious that he was asking the archangel.

Gabriel in turn, arched his eyebrow and whistled. "Well now, things have been getting serious,' he nudged Cas, who was of course, unmoving in his attempt. "Ready to get down on one knee?"

"You're not answering the goddamn question," Dean huffed, aware of the eyes that had fallen to him in disbelief. "Cas said that with the soul bond that one person can feel how the other is feeling, they can communicate with telepathy, the whole bit. Is that right?"

He saw the wheels in Gabriel's head twirling as he frowned. "In theory. But its never been done with a human," he reminded.

That when Dean dared to look at Cas; he gritted his teeth and hoped to the absent god that his jaw didn't tremble as he buttoned his shirt.

"Dean, what are you doing-" Sam started, standing up in shock.

"This wasn't exactly how I planned on this happening, I was thinking mid forties, ritzy place, the whole fucking nine yards," Cas was remained silent as Dean disrobed, grabbed a chair from next to Charlie, who jumped as the chair scrapped across the floor. "But I want this Cas, please. I need to know when you get up there, that you will be safe. That I will be able to help you if you need it."

"Dean its never been done," Cas pleaded, his eyes wide and swimming, looking to Sam as if to help him plead his cause.

Sam didn't need any prodding. "Dean, you never even told me about this soul binding thing. But soul magic? How is that ever good?"

"Its not magic. Its grace, weaving together. Its a partnership of souls," Cas rectified, sounding a bit miffed that Sam would compare his species celestial bond to black magic.

"Whatever it is, its not something you just jump into!"

"I am not jumping Sam," Dean reasoned, shaking his head. "I would die for this bastard. And damn near have several times. Now I finally found some semblance of happiness in my godforsaken life, and I am NOT willing to let that go."

"Well isn't this an interesting development," Dean heard Gabe mutter, almost too gleefully.

"Cas," Dean whispered, voice low and eyes pleading. "Feathers please."

Dean smiled when Cas shook his head, because he knew he had won.

"This will be much more intense then before," Cas admitted, rolling up the sleeve of the tan trench coat and white undershirt.

"Whoa are you guys like, soul banging right here in the study?" Charlie pipped up, obviously thoroughly confused at everything that was happening.

Castiel rolled his eyes at the redhead before returning his attention back to Dean, "It's much more sacred than intercourse Charlie,' this time he was speaking to Dean, slowly and deliberately. "It requires the deepest level of commitment."

He was trying to give him a way out. A chance to change his mind.

"Yea I got it feathers," Dean breathed, trying not keep his eyes on Cas as he realized he was shirtless in the same room with his closet friends and brother. "Lets get this show on the road."

Castiel turned to Gabriel, who was picking his teeth with a toothpick, watching the whole exchange in an almost rapt fascination.  
He snapped to attention when he felt the seraphs eyes on him.

"Oh don't mind me, I'll forever hold my peace and all that jazz," He smirked around the pick in his mouth.

Dean didn't realize he closed his eyes until he felt the feather soft touches of Castiel's fingers on his sternum, just like before.

"Try to breath," Cas instructed as he caressed the skin beneath him reverently.

Dean nodded, taking a few quick breaths as he felt everything and nothing all at once.  
Its funny, you'd think someone plunging their hand through your chest  
and into the inner workings of your soul would pinch just a bit. Hell Dean had seen it done more than once and the result was not spectacular.  
But this was different. Holy shit, this is way different.

**SPNSPNSPNS**

Sam stood up in shock as Castiel's fingers slipped into Dean's chest cavity, a white flow emitting as he did so. He nearly put his hands over his ears expecting to hear his brother's anguished cries. Sam remembered all too well the feeling of the angel probing his own soul and he would not wish it on their worst enemy, and that was saying something.

But it didn't happen; in fact, Dean's breath kept coming out quicker and his chest was heaving like he had been running a marathon but there were no screams, no cries and no struggle. Castiel's eyes were clenched shut in concentration, the light pulsing and winding around his forearm.

Sam stumbled back to Gabe who was watching in undisguised entrapment.

Dean's breathing started to hitch and Sam saw his knuckles go white as he clenched the wooden seat and arched under the angel's ministrations, groaning as he did so.

"Shit, Dean!" He exclaimed, going to run forward in aid of his brother when a hand stopped him hard in his tracks.

"Let me go Gabe, he's hurting him!" The younger Winchester exclaimed, pointing to the heaving body of his older brother. Sweat had started to roll down both of the men's faces and even Cas seemed like he was losing the battle with concentration.

Gabriel just grabbed him by the shoulder to keep him in place.

"He's not in pain you moron, now sit down."

Sam looked at Gabriel in astonishment then back at his brother.

"Oh. OH, shit," he muttered, eyes widening then slamming shut as he spun around to avoid the awkward view.

"Awkward," Charlie agreed.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Dean could feel it, joy and love and happiness as spun into one and it was currently coursing through his body, through his damn veins.  
His whole body was buzzing and he was not ashamed to feel his body move towards the source of the pure energy, only to feel a hand on his hip pushing him back to the hard wooden chair beneath him. .

Although Dean could feel the sweat dripping down his face, hear the rapid beating on his heartbeat, it was as if he was no longer on his plane of existence. Everything was hot white and it burned endlessly, bright and beautiful. It took him a moment to realize that that was Cas. Swirling and pulsing around his soul, the same soul that had tortured in Hell and killed and stolen. Dean Winchester was the best liar he knew, he could steal without ever being detected and he could separate a monster's head from his body without breaking a sweat. But for the first time he felt good, clean and worthy. And he knew deep down that that was Cas too, that that was always how Castiel had seen him. Despite everything he had done, Cas knew his soul better than anyone else ever would.

Dean heard himself groan and the grace wrapped itself around his soul, nestling itself deep within him and giving him a warmth of his own.

"Now breath," he heard a deep familiar voice instruct. And he did, shuddering and gasping from the raptures' moment, his veins still tingling and his ears were ringing with what could only surmise was Castiel's true voice.

Dean opened his eyes and he felt Cas withdrawing and everything came crashing back down around him, so quickly that he drew back into the chair with his eyes wide.

"Holy fuck feathers you've been holding out on me," Dean exclaimed, his heart attempting desperately to return to a safe speed within his chest.

Cas smiled, he too was breathing heavily and Dean swore he saw a bit of a smile as he held out his hand to the older Winchester.

"How do you feel?" He asked, helping him up .

Dean shook his head, opened his mouth just to close it again. He felt something, but its not like he could put his finger on it. It was like a weight had been lifted from his soul, like all the darkness and guilt that he had been holding in for so long had dissipated.

"I feel good," He finally exhaled, looking towards Sam and Charlie nervously.

Gabe had a tissue and dabbed the side of his eye dramatically.

"Well that was touching,' he tossed the tissue in the small cna next to the table then gestured to Cas. "Come on, lets get a move on. We're ready."

Dean's pulse quickened as Cas took one final look at him before stepping close to Gabriel.

Gabriel reached forward to touch Castiel's shoulder, to provide the extra lift he needed to fly being he was on borrowed grace.

"Wait!" Exclaimed Dean gruffly, toying the worn ring on his finger.

Rolling his eyes, the older Archangel dropped his arm in exasperation.

Dean took off the ring and handed it to Castiel, not looking the other man in the eye. He knew his eyes were tipped red as he felt the heat rush to his face.

"Dean?" Cas asked curiously, rolling the ring in his palm. He knew what this was. He knew what it meant to Dean.

"Just um, yea know. You can wear it if you want," Dean shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant as he felt all eyes resting on him.

Dean Winchester tried not to smile as Cas slipped it on his third finger on his right hand.

"Right hand, Cas," Sam spoke up softly, surprising them both. "Put it on your left hand."

Cas nodded, and Dean didn't know if he fully understood the symbolism the ring entailed but the sight of it on his finger quickened Dean's breathing and made his head swim.

"Thank you," Cas acknowledged, his voice deep and solemn. "I will return Dean."

"Yea, you better."

And with that they were gone.

It was silent in the room, Dean squeezing his eyes shut as the soft gust of air kissed his face as they flew from the room.

After a few beats Charlie cleared her throat, "Dude did you just get angel married?"

Kevin shuffled into the room, still clad in pajamas and his hair sticking in every which way.

"Dean got married?" He inquired sleeply, his hands wrapped around a steaming mug. "Molotov," he said raising the mug in his direction before heading back up to the hallway towards his room.

"So..." Sam started, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Lets not,' Dean asked warily, "Can it just wait, the long argument about making rash decisions-"

"Dean!" Interrupted Sam, holding his hand up. "I was just going to say, I'm happy for you. Really."

Dean smiled a bit, his fingers ghosting over the brand he had acquired just a few weeks prior.

"Hey, who's bleeding?" Charlie asked, tipping the trash can.

Sam spun around, "What do you mean?"

Charlie leaned the small trash can towards him, pointing at a small tissue square smeared with crimson.

Dean immediately thought back to Castiel. Brainwashed and bleeding.

"Holy shit," Dean breathed, his stomach clenching in fear. "Wasn't that from Gabriel?"

"But there's only one angel in Heaven right now," Charlie reminded.

"Metatron."

SPNSPNSPNS

AN: CLIFFIE!


End file.
